The History Teacher
Trying to prtect his students innocence
he told them the Ice Age was really just
the Chilly Age, a period of a million years
when everyone had to wear sweaters.
And the Stone Age became the Gravel Age,
named after the long driveways of the time.
The Spanish Inquisition was nothing more
than an outbreak of questions such as
"How fat is it from here to Madrid?"
"What do you call a matador's hat?"
The war of the Roses took place in a garden,
and the Enola Gay dropped one tiny atom
on Japan.
The children would leave his classroom
for the playground to torment the wak
and the smart
mussing up their hair and breaking their glasses.
while he gathered up his notes and walked home
past flower beds and white picket fences,
waondering if they would believe that soldiers
in the Boer War told long, rambling stories
designed to make the enemy nod off.
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